1. bringing Sexy Back = 把性感 带回来 = membawa seksi balik
2. bitchslap = 母狗打 = tamparan anjing betina
3. thank you sir = chao cibai angmo
4. Good Morning "<insert name>"... so how was the weekend? = hamkarchan make me waste my breath, u think i really give a shit meh
5. Good "<insert time of day>", Teng Speaking = What the Fuck do u want?
6. No = Yes
7. Yes = No
8. Ill get onto that as soon as i can = diu lei dou em tak han
9. Yay!!! White People!!! = 杀死所有白色的人
Working in white man land has made me realise one thing, 9 out of 10 of these pricks seem to think Chuck Norris is the Shizzle. What they do not realise is the existence of a much superior ass kicker, my Idol, Jet Li. While Chuck Norris tries hard to emulate the qualities of Jet Li, he cannot possibly come close to being as cool as Jet Li.
Jet Li is a genuine kungfu master who has the invincible “foshan no shadow kick” which is roughly equivalent to about 10948672765846 roundhouse kicks by Chuck Norris. While Chuck Norris tries hard to pretend he has more than steroids in those fake guns of his, Jet Li has something more useful, actual power. There is a reason why Chuck Norris hasn’t made a movie in ages, its because Jet Li challenged him to make a good movie with actual kungfu.
It is common knowledge that kungfu is the reason why the chinese used gunpowder for fireworks and not making guns like the early white man. Armed with nothing more than our cocks and bamboo sticks, we used kungfu to kick those pricks back to engrand. Yes , engrand. Those white pricks were so scared of our kungfu prowess that they had to resort to tricking us with opium in order to invade China. Being the proud people we are, we decided to beat them at their own game. We dispersed all over the world and learnt everything there is to learn, and now, if we arent already, the most powerful race of people in the world. Not to mention the best looking.
Many a white man has tried to hump us. Just look at all the pretty offspring we produce, throw in our genius in maths, industrious work ethics and kungfu, why wouldn’t u? But I digress from my main point, Jet Li has the aura and ethics of a real man. He lays down the ownage to all who dare defy him. Below are a few examples of his awesomeness:
* He walks into a room with 500 armed bad guys and kicks all their asses with nothing more than an umbrella.
* He can walk around in a pigtail and traditional chinese outfit and still look cool.
* No one, I mean No one, touches his family. Those who do get a big round of no shadow kicks in their face.
* His woman is so impressed with him she listens obediently and quietly in the background even though she is western educated and secretly wants to be white.
* He doesn’t need to beat his woman to make her listen
Chuck Norris has ripped off Jet Li many times and im sick of it.
One website has a compendium of quotes which are ripped off Jet Li’s actual deeds. Here it is:
www.chucknorrisfacts.com
in addition to that, I shall include some little known facts about Jet Li.
1. Jet Li does power engineering and finds anything less than 220kV boring.
2. Jet Li is so fast, that the chinese government had to instate the one child policy to control the spread of his seed.
3. Chuck Norris was once a student of Jet Li’s but Jet Li told him to leave after he Chuck Norris revealed he was actually a half evolved monkey. Having taken one lesson, he learned the roundhouse kick and has been living off that ever since.
4. Godzilla was just a documentary of Jet Li's visit to Japan, the director just decided no one would believe that one man could wreak that much havoc and created a monster.
5. White people are just Yellow People that Jet Li and his Posse have beaten the yellow out of. They have no recollection of who they are and resort to guns.
6. There is a 5 GW hydro dam in Jet Li's toilet bowl to capture the energy released when he takes a piss.
7. Japan is just a country of people that pissed off Jet Li and dare not live on the same land mass as him.
8. Mr T pities the fool, Jet Li pities Mr T.
9. The reason why Alien vs Predator is filmed all over the galaxy and most parts of earth except China, is because both Alien and Predator don’t want wake Jet Li up and get their asses handed to them.
10. If great power comes with great responsibility, then Jet Li is the most responsible person in the universe.
Story No.1:
She says:"What you doing in the weekend? you going to that party?"
I say:" my mate works at the bank, hes giving me a tour of the trading floor, and to reciprocate, im taking him for a tour of the control room. after that we gonna go have dinner at my flat, my flatmate's gf is making dinner, after that, all of us gonna jump into the spa and play some poker after. So no im not going for the party. "
She says:" why do you care about visiting the trading floor?"
I say:"cos i never did any commerce papers at uni, only some random economics papers, ill be interested in picking up some tips on moneymaking."
Shes says:" i dont wanna focus on money too much now, im more focused on having a good time"
I say:"you are a woman, of course you think like that"
She says:" whats that supposed to mean, i earn my own money, as long i have enough to spend im happy"
I say:"yes, but at the end of the day, if u arent married by 30, you pretty much fucked arent you, in the deep darkness of the night, you still rather have a man to hold on to, and in the freezing winters, u would rather have a man to warm u up and change the broken lightbulb, and know how to change your car tyre when its flat"
She says:" well then i might just marry a rich man"
At this point i decide i dont think ill give her shit for contradicting herself at her earlier comment
I say:" well then u better get cracking learning some chinese then dont u"
I forgot to mention shes a yellowskin who can speak very limited chinese.
She says:" what makes you think i have to go out with an asian rich man?"
I say:" how many rich white men have u seen walking around with asian girls? dont trick yourself, in the grand scheme of things, you are at the very bottom of the food chain. In the female meat market, the blonds have the highest perceived market value, followed by redheads, brunettes, and then you. so really, the statistics arent on your side on this issue"
She says:" well i dont wanna be a trophy wife anyway"
I think " wtf, she just contradicted herself again
I say:" then u really should focus a bit more on moneymaking then shouldnt u?"
...........................
Moral of the story: if you wanna be a feminist, then stop fucking relying on men to do shit for u and claiming you did it all yourself. Accept that God said MEN toil the earth and WOMEN bear children. It was your fault anyway, u just HAD TO EAT THE APPLE. before that, we were just sipping coconuts and having wild monkey sex while never growing old.
From: Teng Ang
Sent: Wednesday, 16
May 2007 16:31
To: 'Jonathan Bishop'
Subject: RE: Angie
ooohhhhh Annnn - gie
Teng C. Ang
Teng C. Ang
Ang, you metro knob jockey. You now bumming young Asians in Wellington instead of Christchurch.
How's it going working for Transpower? And what are you doing for them? Life at Vector is good, a lot like Transpower it is good to be at the top of the pile and not contracting or consulting. You see much of Lazelle, Brent or Stevens, and have got Dota installed on all the work computers yet?
Jonathan
Bishop
When i was a kid, remember being told i was special, and i remember wondering why the idiot who told it to me looked like a hippie, of course, at that age i had no idea what a hippie was, its only in years to come tat i was able to identify the jobless tree hugger. Your Kid may be special to you, which is why you hang their shitty artwork on your office wall, but remember this, you may think your little bundle of joy is the specialest little bubby bunnymuffins in the world, but NEVER let it find out it is, not at least until it is at least 18.
My mother was an expert in child education, fuck a degree in childcare, my mum had lessons from the best, my GRANDMOTHER!!!!! When we were kids, Grandma was like Al Pacino in the Godfather, i stayed in another town, but tales of her dishing out an asswhooping would always reach my ears. On occasion i travelled back to visit, Grandma would always have a whole aresenal of canes and feather dusters for the little mischief maker, im pretty sure she had it color coded as well. Nowadays, i still have a few cousins who are kids, and nothing warms my heart more than when they misbehave and their parents dont do shit, and my grandma lays down the ownage and gets medieval on their ass. Them kids and parents have no one else to blame other than themselves, in the grand scheme of things, no one is special. We just play a part. By buying kids happy meals, and letting them watch and listen to stupid kiddy loving media garbage, u make them think they are more than what they are, and hence they develop something annoying called an attitude. It is this exact attitude that causes them to utter stupid phrases like "you cant hit me, its physical abuse" to my grandma. At this point my grandma gives them the famous double Cane physical therapy. In my entire life, i have heard of the triple cane being used only once. I still get shivers down my spine. Although i had never received an asswhooping from grandma, i had witnessed one before, and i remember the victim running in my general direction with grandma close behind, it all happened so fast that i couldnt get out of the way in time, i may have gotten a whip or to like shrapnel from gunfire, but i told myself, at least im not my cousins sorry ass.
My mother may have been brought up by the best, but im sure glad she wasnt as nazi like as my grandmother, however, this is still considerably fierce compared with normal levels of beatings. My mother had 4 main weapons in her aresenal as i will list below in chronological order:
1. The Cane
Pain Rating: 9/10
Age of Use: as far back as i can remember - age 16
Origins: Passed on down from Grandma to Mum
When getting an asswhooping, it can be pretty boring, apart from jumping and screaming in pain, your brain is otherwise unoccupied. During times like these, i would wonder, plan and scheme as to how i could avoid such an asswhooping again. It was sessions like that which i credit to developing my creative thinking skills.
My mother would whoop my ass like the world fencing champion, in time i learnt a few things:
- Shut the fuck up: while getting an asswhooping, talking only increases your chances of saying something stupid like "its not my fault" and getting more licks. only utter the words "sorry" in addition to screams of pain.
- Scream like a motherfucker: believe it or not, parents dont actually do it because they like it, the louder and more believable your screams of pain are, the more my mum tends to ease up. The screams signify a loss of dominance which got my ass in trouble in the first place.
- Time the whips: the cane only hurts when it lands exactly where it is supposed to, when she starts whipping you, immedeately go into gaming mode. There is a time lag when she lifts up her hand to get momentum, it is at this moment u prepare, when the cane comes halfway down, immedeately rotate your body a few degrees, this creates a close miss, which tones down the pain levels while still looking like she landed a whip, at which point u let loose a howl as if she got you for real. I will not lie to you, this is a very hard skill to achieve and even at my peak i could only dodge 50% of the whips, however, if u learn to scream well, it just means u get 50% less whips, which is always good.
2. The Slap
Pain Rating: 5/10
Age of Use: 13 - Present
Origins: My cunning plan to scream louder when slapped rather than caned worked. She actually thinks it hurts more.
You may say, "you still get slapped ?" To which i shall say that my mum constantly warns me that i will still get asswhoopings as long as she is alive, and so although i am now godlike at avoiding an asswhooping, and havent gotten one in years, this is just there for completeness.
As i got older mum moved into the slapping territory thanks to my grand plan, the trick was to make her believe that it hurt more because the older i got the bigger i got and hence the trick was to make her believe that my size somehow lessened the effect of the cane. I did this as mentioned above, by varying howl volume to different artifacts of punishment. Although the slapping phase was less painful, i still found it entertaining to dodge slaps. This however proved to be ineffective. I think because slapping actually means my face coming into contact with the skin on her palm, and she could literally feel how much i got hit. In the end, i got bigger than her by age 17, and i didint have to dodge anymore, it was more of a lets see how many screams i can use to get off.
3. The Punch
Pain Rating: 2/10
Age of Use: 15 - Present
Origins: I got too big
After a while i think she got wise to my screams and she needed a new battle plan, this was the turning point in my asswhooping, she could go back to the cane or come up with a new plan, im glad she chose to punch. Throwing a punch is actually more tiring, it requires the puncher to commit more energy than a slap or whip. I.e. she got tired a lot faster than me getting tired screaming.
4. The Cold Treatment
Pain Rating: 10/10
Age of Use: 15 - Present
Origins: I got too big
After she discovered this form of punishment, she just killed it, no more fun. I wont lie to any of you, when she was using the past few forms of punishment, there was many a time i was merely testing the water and seeing how far i could push my luck. I found it extremely exhilirating to see how much i could bullshit my way out of a tight situation.
By using the cold treatment, the guilt alone gives u stomach aches and makes u feel genuinely terrible, at least after all the previous beatings, i would feel like i just had a good exercise and sit down at the dinner table and everything was as if i just got back from playing basketball. I have yet to discover any way to get myself out of the cold treatment other than doing what she wants. In recent years, im either being a better son or im shes getting more lenient as i havent gotten any punishment for ages.
Bloopers & Notes:
1. There is another form of punishment she had called the ear tug, but this is not considered a real form of asswhooping as it hurts way less than any of the above. Via extreme sneakiness and cunning, i managed to trick my mum into using this form of punishment. It started when i was sitting on the sofa listening to my dad talk about how he hated getting pulled by the ears by my grandad when he was a kid, at that moment i had a brilliant idea, and commented on how i hated it too, knowing fully well mum was listening, and i added how glad i was she didint include it much in my asswhooping, after that, voila, she toned down the cane and more non painful earpulling. There is also a trick to this. When getting ur ear pulled, always provide resistance, but not too much, enough so it simulates her pulling on some weights. This is to tire her out and avoid losing computer game time.
2. as you can see, i invested more effort into avoiding the cane as that is by far the most painful when i was a kid.
3. The purpose of me writing this is because i want all my younger cousins to realise the depth i went into to avoiding an asswhooping. There are other ways such as genuinely realising you are wrong, but that usually comes naturally as most of the things we do as kids are pretty stupid anyway and becomes obvious naturally. Take this chance to develop your quick thinking skills and your physical movement. It helps you a lot more in later life.
4. If you thought all that was glorious, i shall now tell you of a time i was a fucking idiot. my mum would usually whip me while i was wearing my pants, and during my initial trials, i would insert toilet paper into my pants just before i got an asswhooping, and keep the screaming up. Unfortunately, i accidentally blabbed this out to my mum once and that still ranks as one of the stupidest mistakes i have ever made in my life.
5. My dads betrayal : as a kid, i would always wonder after my asswhooping how my mother knew everything wrong i did, what i didint tell you was back in those days, unknown to me, my mum and dad had a plan, dad would be my confidante, my best friend. and my mum would be the disciplinarian. hence everytime i did sth wrong, i would tell my dad, and we would laugh about it, and he would tell my mum, and i would get fucked up. I actually had this misconception that she had mothers intuition up until middle of my university years. One chinese new year, my dad sat down and gloated how i was his best fren and that my mum was such an asshole for being mean. my mum heard that and told me the truth. i would be more pissed off, but i found it very educational and funny.
6. My other crowning achievement was to negotiate a deal with my mother which allowed me to skip class and do whatever i liked as long as my grades in high school kept me in the first 2 classes.
Conclusion:
I am extremely thankful for all the asswhoopings i got,i am who i am today because of it and i cannot imagine what an asshole(how much more may be more accurate) i would be if i didint get those asswhoopings. Although i got my ass kicked a lot, some of the values do get through my thick skull, and im thankful for that. My mum is now old and she cant dish out much punishment anymore hence making me feel too guilty to piss her off nowadays just so i get an adrenaline rush.
To my cousins: Im NOT asking you to cause trouble, you can do anything u want provided u dare to tell you parents about it, that was the rule i lived by in later years which was so effective in preventing getting my ass kicked. It also kept me out of trouble.
Harrooo ewerybory, today i would rike to take opportunity make benefit glorious work experience working wif my Family at Connetics HV & I. First of all i would rike to say, my Connetics family has been good to me and no make me cook them chicken chow mein, for i is sick of that shit.
.............
Ok fuck this, im writing in normal english, that accent is too hard. First of all i would like to show the 2 circumstances that occur at connetics. On a good day, the HV & I room will be as shown as below :
Paul's Spot Graham's Spot
Yours truly Dush's Spot
As can be seen, even when im left alone, i still work very hard and hence should be rewarded with praise and monetary benefits, even Dush should be rewarded for having something on the computer screen.
On a normal day however, its more like:
As you can see, we are a very hardworking bunch.
On a serious note i would like to say thanks to :
1. Marty ( not shown here) he was the one who taught me 70% of what i know to do work at Connetics.
2. Thanks to all of you for looking out for me, and teaching me.
3. Special thanks to Graham for that one time you told Earl the silly goose was shoving too much on my plate.
4. Special thanks to Dush for introducing me to Megadeth
5. Special thanks to Paul for teaching me so many colourful new jokes and constantly looking out for me.
6. Earl (not shown here), At the end of the day, he was the one who gave me my start
As my Engrand will not permit me to write longer, ill keep it short and sweet. To my peeps, these are the people i spent the past half year working for, apart from Dush the Sri Lankan guy, the rest of them are old, and i have learnt a lot from this place and come the day when we take over the world with our kung fu and the other white people finally realise we gave them gunpowder technology because kungfu was too awesome, i want their lives and their families spared. The gookfather has spoken.
At the end of my degree, i look back and smile on how overly serious some of us took it. Similiar to high school , to life. Life was meant to be lived and not to be taken too seriously. Ill try to remember this. As graduation draws closer, id like to point out some of the subtleties of our world. When i say our its because we are so much cooler than everyone else and everyone depends so heavily on us. While there has been no segregation in the first and second years of electrical engineering, i think that its only due to the fact that it is because the geeks were still in their new environment and people were scared and hence herded together. It is only during the final 2 years or 3 or more for some of the more "late blooming" types that segregation became apparent and thus begins this piece.
I have always believed that a picture is worth a thousand words and so i give you the official hiearchy of electrical engineering:
Although many of the other non power engineers constantly bitch and moan about why power engineers are stupid and why they are better than us, Power Engineers wonder why we need to put up with this shit at all. Below is a typical display of our extreme aptitude to be gentle with the disillusioned.
Every 2 years, there is an astounding event, The Donkey Cup.
Women from all over the world come and compete for the cup, the winner walks away with possession of the king of all Donkeys, Tangnagi. Together with the respect of fellow tamers.
Contestants compete on many different events such as:
1. Donkey Rodeo - similar to the rodeos with bulls but this event measures the contestant's ability to dish out as much punishment to the test donkey while maintaining the donkey's obedience, a very entertaining event indeed. In modern times, sitting at the back of a vehicle while a donkey drives is also acceptable.
Fig1. Contestant trying to get extra points by not using a welcoming tone on her donkey.
2. Donkey Yellow Pages - The main aim of this event is to test the contestants ability to dish out orders without being in visual contact, and if she is good enough at communicating her unreasonable needs. Contestants will be judged on the unreasonableness of the request, the effectiveness of communication and of course the ability to keep donkey under control.
3. Donkey Herding - This event tests the contestants ability to manage her flock of donkeys. In todays society, it is not uncommon for a donkey tamer to possess more than one donkey and keeping them in check while both of them are aware of each other is a very important skill for the donkey tamers of today.
Fig2. Standard donkey denial conversation
4. DIT - Short for the Donkey Intelligence Test, this event requires the tamer to obtain a task meant for her and delegate all duties to the donkey. All contestants would be judged on complexity of the task, time taken to delegate the task, and how efficiently the donkey completes the task set.
5. Donkey Debate - This is an event for the donkeys. Contestants will train their donkeys well, and all of them will place their donkeys into a common shed and judges will base their decision on how well the donkey defends himself as to why he is not a donkey. The aim of this event is to measure the effectiveness of the donkey tamers brainwashing skills.
6. Diss A Donkey - The event has to be the highlight of the Donkey Cup. Contestants are given a short time span to piss their donkey off so much that he actually ceases being a donkey. Contestants will be judged on how fast they can redonkeyfy their victims.
At the end of the games, the lucky receipient of the Donkey Cup will also receive the coveted Golden Carrot. She can then give this to her chief donkey to her favorite donkey in her herd.
Bloopers:
THIS JUST IN :
RAPUNZEL IS THE NEW WORLD CHAMPION OF THE DONKEY CUP
I have always believed that women and men and our complex relationships can always be summarized and described. Deep down within me, I also believe that math is the universal language in all the cosmos and that the study of the subject is a very important part of comprehending the very essence of life. And so I have always wondered, is it possible to use math to describe the very fabric of humanity? Relationships?
In electrical engineering, all we do is play around with ohm’s law, if someone wanted electrical engineering summarized in 2 words, it would be ohm’s law. V = IR. The first time I came across this equation, I always knew that this had a deeper meaning that only I would know. The equation in all its simplicity is marvelous. Not only has it been used analogously in the study of thermodynamics, its also used in many other various studies.
Alas, there are 3 basic elements in everything electrical, the resistor, the capacitor and the inductor. If u don’t already know what it is, then u need to wikipedia it up because I cant be arsed explaining it to u.
Anyways, I have realized the following:
L = the manliness of the male species
C = the feminity of the female species
R = general problems arising from women
I = ability of a man
V = the wants of a woman
I have always believed as a man that, everything we do in life, is all about passing on our genes and reproduction, and hence everything we do, achieve, conquer and obtain in life can be traced to have been affected in some way by our want to get laid. You may disagree with me, but I give you the law of the universe described by equations I did not make up:
V=IR
As you can see, this equation alone illustrates that V(the wants of a woman) is a product of I(the ability of a man) and R(the general problems that arise from women).
Also current and voltage in a capacitor is associated as follows
C = I dV/dt
In a capacitor, the voltage cannot change instantaneously, which makes sense, because, when the ability of a man is taken into account, women know that if they give us too high expectations, the man brain in all men just tell them to fuck off, at which point we ignore the request , instead the typical woman gives expectations which seem reasonable but are actually fkin hard to achieve and gradually expect more and more from us. The product of this is hence called the politically correct term of the feminity of the softer sex.
As for the ability of a man,
V = L dI/dt
In an inductor, the current cannot change instantaneously, this is true on so many levels, anything of value in a mans life, be it burpin the ABCs, kungfu, playing DOTA or basketball takes many years of honing skills. And hence as mentioned further above , we are driven to do what we do by what women want, we can there fore see that the wants of a woman is the product of a man’s manliness and his abilities.
This brings me to my next point, in a relationship, it is always comprised of manliness, feminity and the problems it brings with it, RLC. In order to maintain a successful relationship, there has to be equilibrium, in electrical engineering, we call this effect synchronous resonance. Where the man and the woman both tune their natural frequencies to this frequency, there exists an equilibrium and a happy relationship is born, those of you smart enough to understand this far, will now know that the opposite is also possible, and should the frequencies not align, the system will be unstable and oscillate itself into oblivion.
As you can clearly see, the reason why so many relationships fail is because there is unlimited bandwidth of frequencies and only 1 natural frequency.
Of course, there is also parallel and series resonance, and
I could also provide you with the mathematical proof of the resonant
frequencies of such systems, but it is now almost
midnight
and I really wanna get my base piece done. So go wiki it up yourself or wait for my future pieces
You may then proceed to question me, what about homos? What about couples where the woman is the stronger figure? What about men who have more than 1 wife? And threesomes?
The answer is simple, I have so far been describing the previous equations by assuming that R, L and C are perfect components, comprised purely of just R,L and C values, this of course is not true in the real world. In the real world, every component has some elements of all 3 components, there is no such thing as a pure inductor, capacitor or resistor. Except me and a few others of course, there are very few people who are purely inductive, the following is a complete list of such people:
- Me
- Chuck Norris
- Jet Li
- Braveheart
- Gengis Khan
- Rocky Balboa
- Jamesey
The last one is of course just there as a joke.
Anyways, the answers are as follows:
We all know that there is a bitch and butch in a homo relationship, and hence there is still a component with a predominantly inductive characteristics and a component with predominantly capacitive characteristics, and hence along with these 2 components the associated resistance.
This is just a mislabelled personality, a capacitor mislabelled as an inductor or vice versa.
Some inductors are just too inductive
Sometimes u cant find enough capacitors to compensate for a humungous inductor, why do you think there are huge capacitor banks where there are big motors?
Most people would generally agree that work can mostly be divided up into good days and bad days. At the moment, my good days = my bad days, and im hoping it doesnt get worse.
On a bad day
The goddamn alarm clock goes off or decides not to, either of which, i awake feeling terrible, feel like dying. I get out of bed grumbling to myself, asking myself why i put myself through such bullshit. I go get my towel from the rack, get into the shower, in the hopes of my mood being lifted by a nice warm shower. Big Fkin surprise, it doesnt. I feel like going to work, and punching that mofo in the face, and tell him that i should have studied biology, majored in pathology, invented a fuckin virus to wipe out his goddamn race.
I then get out of the shower, and i tell myself its not so bad, my other bosses are nice, and then i remember that i hate whatever the fuck they give me anyway, so why the fuck do i go. I then try to convince myself that no ones like their job anyway, then i wonder if maybe i hate working more than everyone else. I then try to tell myself im doing this for the greater good, so i can buy my sister shit, i can buy my parents shit, and i can buy myself shit, that the thought that i can look after myself makes both my parents happy, grudgingly, i get dressed and eat my breakfast. I dont like my breakfast, but i cant be fucked putting in the effort to cook something better.
Its 7.15 and i set off to work, on the way to work, assholes drive with me, all on their way to their daytime prisons, i try to control my urge to flip them off, then i ask myself why the fuck im not doing what i want, im a working man now, then i remind myself if i flip anyone off, my mum gets sad, and she doesnt have the energy she used to have when both of us were younger. So i grudgingly "forgive" those who tresspass me.
I reach work, and people are busy and i either have so much to do im burnt out by smoko, or im so bored that i try to occupy my time by reading shit on wikipedia. U wont believe all that ive learnt. I hate having to deal with the assholes who dont do a good job. I hate that i dont get appreciated for all the shit i do.
Its lunchtime, i hate the shitty lunch i brought, but i cant be bothered buying the shittier food from the cafe next door, i sit with people from work, smiling my ass off like an idiot because i am a kiss ass, as with when everyone starts off at somewhere or something new. I hate what they talk about, it bores me, i miss my people, of the yellow kind. So i sit there trying to think how im gonna kill 3 more hours till i go home.
I finally get off work to heavy traffic, but i try to feel better by relaxing with my mp3 player. Then i get this downright lonely feeling as i sit alone in my car thinking this is what i have to look forward to for the rest of my life. I get to cae2 for some dota,hoping to relax, then i realise i have to cook, i get too lazy and i eat kfc or sth similiar and feel guilty after that.
I now sit in front of my computer killing the rest of the day till i go to bed to repeat the same routine the next day.
On a good day
I am awake before the alarm clock hits me, i feel energetic and ready. i left the fun bits of work from yesterday till today so i know that the first half of the day will be fun for me. I jump into the shower planning what im gonna do for dinner, and my weekend, i think of the roshan tour, my hifi, my team, and i know my mum and dad got nothing to worry for me about. I jump out of the shower ready and good to go.
I eat my breakfast that i prepared the night before and im glad i spent the time preparing it. I swallow it, and all the pills my mum gave me, and as i look at the bottle, i feel awesome cos the medicine is working and my shoulder feels so much better, im glad because i know in a month or twos time, i can be back on the court with my team.
I drive to work, and my zen vision m plays everything i wanna hear and i arrive in a fking good mood, i walk in to the office and im greeted by smiles and people tell me they got my work , or they thank me for something i did for them the night before. I feel good and i dump my shit in the room and go visit my boss. my boss arrives late but sees that ive done half the shit he had to do this morning and gives me a gratifying smile which is thanks enough for me. he then asks me if i can delived some parts to a company which is far enough away that i can take a nice 3 hour trip driving in the country. he chucks me his car keys and away i go.
i get back just in time for lunch, and i feel good. I join my colleagues for lunch, and the conversation is funny as hell and i feel like i just could live with this for a while. after lunch, i get onto a job which runs smoothly and everyone tells me everything is going smoothly and i feel gratified. My boss tells me i didint fuck anything up in the pricing job he gave me and hes impressed i got the hang of it. i spend the rest of the day feeling super.
I get off work and arrive in time so everyone is playing dota, lots of people wanna have dinner out that night and i finish my dinner with lots of mates, i get home call my mum and shes happy, and in a good mood, i then relax to the sounds of my fav jazz on my hifi, and i go to bed wishing this lucky streak can keep going.
On a Friday
Usually a good day because everyone fucks off before 3.30 and so can i, i beat the traffica and the thought of the weekend ahead drowns out all earlier fuck ups.
On a Friday Night
Im so happy i get another 2 days of non working, im slightly orgasmic and every step i take feels light, and i tell myself the night is young and theres shitloads going on.
On a Saturday
Similiar to a Friday night, just a little toned down, still happy all day, get to go to the gym , do some exercise, get the endorphins going and i feel good.
On a Sunday
Starting to get a little down cos today i gotta do all sorts of housework, grocery shopping, ironing my clothes, and i know that tomorrows Monday. But still relaxing to my hifi.
On a Sunday Night
Scared like hell, cos tomorrow is definitely gonna be a bad day.
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